3strangeknightssaga

Episode 1

No freaking’ clue.

Dead bodies were coming back to life and they were trying to eat us. Okay, back to life may not be the right term.

Unlife?

Whatever.

They were moving around and we were on the menu. Why? I had know freaking’ clue.

I was at a Renaissance Faire in the town of Yuma Arizona.

You see I am a magician. The pull a rabbit out of a hat kind, not a +4 magic missiles kind. I am one half of the comedy magic duo of “Myth & Magic.”

Hold your applause…..and you did.

I was in Yuma with my best friend and performing partner Pat ‘Snipe’ Reule.

It was a Saturday afternoon and were on stage doing our 3:45 show. Everything was running smoothly. Smoothly that is until this guy came shambling through a nearby burlap fence and proceeded to climb up on our stage.

Now I know what you’re thinking, “Hello, walking corpse. Didn’t you notice?

Well, the truth is, at Renaissance Faires we get a lot of people who dress up and not always in the correct time frame or theme. I have seem Cylons, Klingons, Wookies, Fairies and Ogres at Faire.

So a Zombie, although new, was not all that surprising. Therefore we tried to ignore him like we would a drunk.

As ‘Mr. Shambles’ endeavored to climb up on our stage, I just got louder and more animated in an effort to keep the audience focus on me and the show.

It was to no avail because the second ’IT’ was up on the stage, ’Mr. Shamble’ stretched out his arms and began to moan.

Now I have been a performer for over two decades now, so when I heard this sound come from his throat. A sound that was wet, loud, guttural and had the power make my testicles to crawl up into my body. My first thought was, ’That is so cool. I have to learn how to do that.’

Then ’Mr. Shambles’ made a grab for me.

It was at this time that time seemed to stand still. In a second that seem to last an eternity, I notice that the dirt on him smelled like freshly dug earth. His eyes were moist and he didn’t blink. And what I though had been gummy worms, were actually maggots crawling in and out of his left ear.

I then did what any future savior of mankind would do.

I pissed my pants.

Then I tried to take a step backward but I tripped over Snipe who had come up behind me to confront the ’Stage Crasher.’ We fell onto the stage in a heap and the audience watched in stunned confusion.

The dead guy started reaching for us, eyes rolled back, mouth open and teeth bared. His stained fingernails were long and claw like.

Just when I thought we were doomed, I heard a sound like the ’thumping’ of a watermelon. Then as if by magic, a knife point appeared exiting the dead guy’s left ear while a knife handle vibrated in the right.

The Zombie fell to the stage in a heap, the Audience exited in a loud and chaotic manner, And ‘Trey! The Professional Showoff’ leapt onto the stage.

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