3strangeknightssaga

Episode 27

“Ow, OW, OW!”

As I began to descend, doomed to become deader dinner. Sharp pain suddenly attacked my scalp. Accompanied by a jolt to my neck and shoulders as my downward journey came to an abrupt end.

As it happened my hair, my long, extremely cool, chick magnet hair, got caught in the rollers when I sneezed.

I was now dangling mere feet above the dirty gnarled uplifted hands of the undead below me.

I was afraid to move around much. Afraid any slieght movement would tear my hair out by its roots and send me plummeting down to become a zombie “Hot Pocket”.

“God why are you testing me”, I thought to my self.

As if by cue a voice came over the headset.

“Test.” It was the voice of Bill W, “Test. Hello. Are we reconnected?”

We were all on the same link so the voice was heard by everyone.

Ding’s voice came over the line. “‘Fry Cook 1′, this is ‘Head Waiter’, it seems we have a situation here. The ‘Ham’ is in the ‘Gravy’. I repeat. The ‘Ham’ is in the ‘Gravy’.”

Bill W’s voice came back, ” ‘Head Waiter’, this is ‘Fry Cook 1′. What is the status of the ‘Gravy’?

“The ‘Gravy’ is thick. I repeat the ‘Gravy’ is thick.” Ding answered.

” ‘Head Waiter’, be prepared if the ‘Ham’ gets too close to the ‘Gravy’ you may have to ‘Fry the Bacon’ ” We heard Bill W’s voice say.

“Could you repeat that last order, ‘Fry Cook’” Ding replied.

“Be prepared to ‘Fry the Bacon’. We cannot risk contamination of the entire meal.” Bill answered.

“HELLO!” I shouted into the headset, ” I can hear you.”

I slowly tried to reach above my head and try to grab the roller rail. As I did I felt the rail above me begin to give a little. I felt the rails begin to bend as felt myself being lowered by my own weight. Soon the rails would reach they’re breaking point and I would plummet the rest of the way down.

“Let me try something.” Stevil said.

He pulled a bright colored shell from his bandolier and placed it in the shotgun. He aimed the barrel at the mass below my feet and fired. A huge cone of flame leapt from the shotgun as the Dragons breath round ignited.

The zombies below me went up like briquettes.

Which was not a good thing, because now instead of just the threat of falling into flesh eating zombies. I now had to worry about being slow cooked, then falling into a mass of Flaming flesh eating zombies, and I don’t mean flaming in a slightly uncomfortable gay way either.

Then I heard a snap.

Then I felt weightless.

Episode 28

I heard a loud crack. Then there was a sharp pain around my chest.

“Oh crap,” I thought to myself, “one of my buddies had shot me so I wouldn’t become ‘Deader’ food.”

“This is it.” I thought.

My life began to pass before my eyes. As the memories flooded through my brain I noticed a NC-17 rating in the lower left hand corner of my minds eye.

Some of my memories were really, really good. Luckily I am young…..so I got to watch them twice.

I was in the second showing of my college years when I was jolted back to reality by Kathy’s voice.

“Trey! You idiot. Hold on to the whip!” She yelled at me.

I looked down and to see that Kathy had used a bullwhip and wrapped it around my chest.

I reached to my belt and noticed my whip was gone. I must have dropped it during all the turmoil and Kathy, being the nice person she is, picked it up for me.

Kathy was being aided by Robert and Snipe as she tried to haul me up.

I held on tightly to my end of the whip so that I wouldn’t just spin off.

There was a ripping sound as the Roller Rail fell past me and took a chunk of my hair along with it.

Then I felt weightless again as I shot up into the air. Having been pulled mightily by Robert and Snipe.

I saw myself shoot over the edge to safety.

I tried to right myself so that I could land on my feet.

That didn’t work.

I heard a cracking sound.

And everything was dark and quite.

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